England Footballers: The Problem

They're coming home, they're coming home, they're coming....

Too soon?

Yes, it's that time again. England are out of the World Cup. This time slightly ahead of schedule, so well done, boys!

But what chance have our boys got against the hostile British press?

 For example: We all know just how much Frank Slater of the Daily Comet has had it in for England since Roy Race took over as manager.

 Derek "Mozzie" Mostin, the young hotshot from Selbridge is one of the great "characters" of English football. Where would we be if we were to suppress the laughter? That's part of our heritage as Englishmen! Go on, Mozzie, you show Slater. You show us all! Show us your orang-utan!!!

Sack him.